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Imposter Syndrome

Hello my old friend, As always, your timing is impeccab le. While I am not surprised by your visit, I am slightly disappointed that you didn't wait just a little longer before you came through. I thought at the sweet age of 21 (plus 8 years life experience😅) I’d have found a way to beat you, but here we are, and I’ve lost more battles against you than I can count. I have come to the conclusion that you are a force of the universe designed to keep the status quo, for how can I strive for more when I feel unworthy of what I already possess. Seeing that you are a constant in my life, I've decided to stop fighting you, for you only visit when I feel undeserving of what I deserve. One could say that in your own twisted way, you are letting me know that I am where I am meant to be. Maybe, just maybe, you aren’t my nemesis. Only a silent whisperer that I am on the path to growth. I do wish these visits were be accompanied with warmer emotions though for I could use a little less self...
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Dear Future Lover

I look forward to texting you back and forth sharing our big wins, venting about work, exchanging memes, and learning the minute details of your day which may be trivial but signify a willingness to make me a part of every aspect of your life.  I look forward to thr memories we're going to capture, the date night pictures and boomerangs, the documented weekend aways, the video snippets of me kissing you on the cheek, and the activity date content. More importantly, I look forward to the moments we're going to be so immersed in that we'll forget to capture. I look forward to the day I go out of my way to accommodate you in my space. Whether in the form of allocating you a shelf in my bedroom cupboard, setting up an additional work from home station, or stocking up my fridge with lactose-free milk and/or gluten-free bread. I look forward to the excitement of planning your birthday and the pressure of making each year better than the last. In the same breath, I look forward to...
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Take a relationship break, they said

I don't mean to state the obvious but we all know that a small break is one of the greatest things you can do after a relationship ends. I could list the countless benefits like how you get back the parts of yourself that you had forgotten or the healing necessary before you get into the next relationship but we're all familiar with them so that won't be my focus. Instead, I am wondering whether there comes a point where the break does you more harm than good. As someone who tends to take long breaks in between relationships, I am beginning to realise that maybe, just maybe, a long break could reverse your healing. We are social creatures who were never meant to do this life thing alone, and that's why companionship (not only romantic) ranks so high among our emotional needs. I guess it was this realisation that birthed the phrase "you cannot self-love or self-care your way out of the desire for companionship". Ever watch a movie on a Saturday night and found ...
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Infinity stones

If you could own one infinity stone, which would it be? Surely anyone who followed the Marvel Cinematic Universe has asked themselves this question. I myself have gone back and forth but I think I have finally made my pick. Of course, my selection is based on my observation of the stones from the movies and not the comics so forgive me, though I am not sorry if my analysis is far from the stones' attributes in the comics. Now let's start off with the soul stone. This is probably the most useless of the six, and I think its purpose was merely to complete the set on the infinity gauntlet. It could have some hidden powers I know not of but even if it did, I doubt I'd be interested in such a macabre object. The mind stone is one of the most confusing of the six. I mean I know what it does but I also don't know, you know. I do remember that you could use it to control people's minds and I don't know hey, there's something disturbing about taking someone's fre...
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Healthy relationships

NB: I know I explained this before in my introductory blog, but I feel the need to reiterate for this specific publication lest the reader starts making assumptions. This was written over 5 months ago and therefore isn't a reflection of what I am going through at the moment. It could be my growth/evolution in the past 6 months but reading this now, I must say it sounds cheesy as hell 😂😂😂. Anyway, here goes... Hello, healthy relationships my old friend. I didn't know you were coming. You do know that you could've warned me first right, or were you afraid I'd run away from you like last time? Look who has trust issues now 😏 Now that you're here, your last visit just came to mind. I mean, it was pretty memorable after all. How can I forget the feeling that comes with knowing where I stand with someone from the get-go? How can I forget being considered in my partner's plans (whether involved or not)? How can I forget never having to guess what was going on in my...
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The gift of negative emotions

A day or two after my birthday, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. In all honesty, I had nothing to be sad about. Granted there could've easily been something to be sad about at the time and I could have found it had I dug deeper but the truth is, even the happiest person on earth can easily find an aspect of their life to be sad about. So the point I am trying to make is that I am positive that what I was going through was simply random and not tied to anything going on in my life. When I got home I was feeling a lot better, and that's when it dawned on me that I hadn't felt sad (or at least that sad) in over a year.  A funny thing happened after that realisation for I found myself a little grateful for that episode. Granted that could've been because I am a glass-half-full kind of person but it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, I needed that to realise and appreciate that I had been happy all this time. It's twisted I know but if happiness is all you have...
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Writer’s block

Yeah, I know I know! One blog post in and I'm already experiencing writer's block. But hey, it is what it is. So yesterday I decided to take a social media break, the kind I would usually take during my studying days when school got hectic. This was meant to try and clear some of the stuff on my plate (including finishing up my drafted blog ideas). Last night I was typing another blog and it really felt like work. And why would it not, seeing I had taken a break from some aspects of my life to do it. Had I turned what used to be a fun form of expression into an assignment with deadlines? Is this what writer's block feels like? Where you feel so pressured to complete a single piece that you block out the ideas for your other pieces with the hope of channeling all your energy to the one you’re working on. But what is the impact of this? Don’t your pieces feel forced? Don't you get to a point where you go back and you just aren't happy with your output because you know...
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